Apparently there is something of a financial crisis on at the moment, or so my clients tell me. Fortunately my industry is more or less recession-proof mainly due to the fact that when people ask for a discount I get my right hand man Eduardo el Loco to remove some of their fingers with a pair of bolt cutters – that usually straightens out any unnecessary price fluctuations. However I realise that others may prefer slightly less direct methods. Obviously you want to move into a sector that shows strong growth potential so I have identifies two areas for you to consider.

First is anything to do with climate change. This is a brilliant scheme which has created an entire industry worth billions of dollars from essentially nothing. All you have to do is call yourself a consultant, mutter something about carbon credits, pretend you are all about saving the world for future generations, label anyone who doesn’t fall over in agreement with you a ‘climate change denier’ and wait for the cash to roll in.
Second area where I can see big potential is piracy (not the electronic sort, the good sort). Look, if the Somalians can do it why can’t you? Also you get to wear a patch over one eye and go ‘aaaaaarrh’ a lot which is obviously muy bueno. Loads of cash to be made there – in fact I am thinking of branching out in that direction myself. Obviously you may have to off the odd Philippino radio operator from time to time, but think of the benefits.