Monday, August 17th, 2009 | Author: Dr. Dominguez

Dear ‘Zendude’,

Gracias para su preguntas.
You make a good point hombre – I couldn’t ascertain why R&B has mutated from actual R&B, which dwelt on the injustices of life, drinking a vast amount and waking up in the morning wishing one was dead etc into some sort of urban hip hop but with singing instead of rapping. Most peculiar. It’s now more to do with how big ones car is and how many señoritas one can fit in it. So maybe coches y señoritas – C&S.

As for the issue regarding salt being more harmful than ‘weed’ – I was not completely convinced by this theory so I decided to set up a scientific experiment. I managed to track down a ladrón who owed me some money – a short session involving delicate negotiation and a pair of pliers convinced him that he was the man for the job. First up – half an ounce of Barranquilla Bomber. This had the effect of rendering him temporarily unable to speak and he went blind in one eye. Next came the kilo of salt and I’m surprised to say you are right – the side effect of eating this much salt seems to be agonising death. Who knew? However personally I am against the legalisation of marijuana. There are a multitude of reasons, but primarily my margins will go through the floor the instant it is made legal, and I’m saving up for a new yacht.

The music at gigs should be so teeth rattlingly loud that you can’t hear yourself think let alone listen to your neighbour banging on about how pastels are so coming back this year. Obviously you need to go to some better bands, anything with an acoustic guitar is clearly effeminate unless it is played by a mariachi band.

Bombay Bad Boy - Amazing.

Bombay Bad Boy - amazing.

As for Pot Noodles, I had to look this one up. It seems they are some sort of instant snack to which you add boiling water, akin to the well known Korean ‘Nong Shin – Shin Cup’ ramen noodle. As far as I could tell from my research they are not a ‘gateway snack’ leading to physical dependency on cup-a soup etc, but I have had a crate sent over just to make sure. Apparently the Bombay Bad Boy and Doner Kebab flavours are amazing.

Category: advice
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