Personally I am delighted at the result because it has helped ensure four out of five South American teams are in the quarter finals, the single casualty being Chile, who no-one likes anyway. Obviously our Latin brethren play la partida hermosa on a level

unsurpassed by the rest of the world. However teams like England automatically think they are better than us for some reason and are then surprised when the likes of Paraguay slay them like your St George slayed the iguana or whatever poor defenceless creature it was. For some unknown reason the English think they are a lot better than they actually are – even New Zealand would have beaten Algeria. As for punishment – well in my country we tend to shoot you in the head as soon as you get off the plane but that might be a bit too fuerte for English tastes. How about we just select one player from the squad at random and torture them to death. I imagine that would improve future performance no end.