Umm, let me get this straight, your wife wants to put a costume on a freaking dog?? Listen compadre, around here we use dogs for two things, guarding product and target practice. Dogs do not wear clothes OK? People wear clothes. I asked my two dobermen Rabid and Malaria what they thought, and even though dogs cannot talk, their facial expressions and snarls strongly implied that if I tried to put so much as a hat anywhere near them, they would have no hesitation in ripping off my arm and eating it for desayuno. Literally.

It sounds like your wife is perhaps going a little soft in the head. Mrs Dominguez #1 also behaved a little like this before she was tragically struck down by a strange case of lead poisoning. It was very sad, but man my roses looked good that year. I also mentioned this question to the boys down at the yacht club, and after they had stopped laughing they all seemed to be of the opinion that your wife is in need of a long vacation. But make sure she doesn’t take the dog.